The ‘F’ Word

“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.“

-Marianne Williamson

How many times in a day do you think about the way someone has wronged you? It could be something as small as the tone of voice used in a conversation or as big as an action resulting in a broken heart — whatever happened you’re still thinking about it. You can even go YEARS without thinking about how someone wronged you until being “triggered” and it resurfaces. Even in this case you may not realize that you haven’t forgiven the person. So imagine what your chest would feel like encountering the person every single day.

Wouldn’t you love it if you saw the person and actually felt peace?

Now usually Wikipedia wouldn’t actually be a valid source of information; however, their definition of forgiveness trumps the other definitions I found.

Forgiveness, according to Wikipedia, is the intentional and voluntary process of by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense. So how many people have you believed that you forgave until you saw them in person? I know many people have said and stand on their truth of “I will forgive you but I will never forget what you did or how you made me feel.” Please understand that I am not saying that you should forget what they did or how they made you feel, but if you still have that tightness in your chest when it is mentioned did you forgive or did you sweep it under the rug?

Reality hit me recently when I realized that I hadn’t forgiven someone. That tightness I referenced above is something that I have experienced firsthand. I had to remind myself that it is okay to forgive someone who has wronged me in one way or another. Whether it be heartbreak or something else, the same forgiveness God extends to you is the same forgiveness you should extend to others. I look at it as grace because in the moment you may believe that retaliation would be the best move — it isn’t. I know that in my case I rather be at peace than to hold animosity towards someone that deserves the same grace God has extended to me.

Like the quote says, forgiveness isn’t easy and it'll probably sting more than the wounds did as they were being inflicted, but wouldn’t the weight that’ll be lifted off of you will be worth it in the end?