Silenced (Kaylia's monologue)

Walking inside the building Kaylia was already ready to go back home. As she made her way to first period she felt herself fill with anxiety.

"Hopefully he forgets all about the monologues I really don't think I can do this" she thought to herself sitting down in her seat.

"Kaylia" Mr. L said "We are ready whenever you are. Make yourself as comfortable as you need to." Sitting down on the floor with her back facing the class Kaylia started.

"If he was on fire and I had a cup of water, I would drink it. I heard someone years ago say that and at the time I didn't understand but I do now." She paused and looked over to her teacher who had nodded for her to continue.

"Can you turn off the lights please Mr. L?"

"Whatever makes you comfortable Kaylia"

"He .... He touched me." She continued.

"Years ago when I was a kid I didn't understand those words but today, today I do. He touched me, never apologized or at least acknowledged that he, a grown man was wrong. It was late one night, all the lights were off and everyone in the house was asleep. I felt his hand travel up to my private and I jumped up and asked him what he was doing. I could smell the alcohol on his breath so strong it smelled as if he bathed in it and that's when I realized that I should get to somewhere safe. I walked quickly to the front room where my grandma slept and I lay perfectly still and cried. How could he? How could the man who vowed to love and protect us do this to me?" Taking a breath she paused.

"At that age I didn't even understand how to explain to my mother that her husband was a monster, the one that hid under my bed and haunted my nightmares that caused so many sleepless nights. So I didn't, I didn't say anything about it to my mom, not a single word yet I still cried late at night when nobody else was up, I would cry. The memories sketched darkly into my mind played over and over and I couldn't do anything about it. So for a while I stayed quiet, never speaking unless spoken to. Until one day I had to, I had to tell because if I didn't I wouldn't have a relationship with my biological father. He called, my biological father, and I couldn't find it in myself to even begin a relationship with him because of the monster that was the cause of my nightmares for so many years. They said I have to forgive him, and I believe that I have but I will NEVER forget. How could I? How could I forget the man who allowed his selfishness to cause my nightmares? How could I forget The man who decided to let his desire take over his mind? Then again who would ever desire to touch a child in that way? I...I'm okay now but then, back then, I wasn't. Depression lasted four long years, and suicidal attempts went with it along with an eating disorder that lasted long enough for me to drop from a size 5 back to a size 0. He was the cause of all of this. If only he had kept his hands to himself."

As Kaylia ended the bell rung and she sighed a sigh of relief that now the monologue was over she could go back to never thinking about the past.